Separation Anxiety: What's normal?

As we begin to wrap up our first month of school, it is the hope that your child is comfortable with his/her teacher and classmates, the routine and procedures of the classroom, and is no longer wondering or afraid of what to expect for the day ahead.

At the beginning of each school year, we see little ones (and sometimes older ones) cry when mommy or daddy drop them off at school. They don't want their parent to leave them. As a parent, you know your child is in good, safe hands for the day and that your child will be cared for, nurtured, and educated. Your child doesn't always know that and those unknowns are what create separation anxiety. It's common in the first week or two of school for a child to experience separation anxiety, but you should start to see the crying episodes at drop-off happen less and less frequently as your child becomes more acquainted with their peers and the expectations of the classroom.

Here are some tips to try that have been known to work: (Keep in mind that all children are different and if your child doesn't respond to these tips, it doesn't necessarily mean there's a serious problem. You know your child the best.)

• Practice separation - Leave your child with a trusted family member or friend. Start out with short periods of time.
• Develop a good bye ritual - Rituals are reassuring and become a part of the trusted routine on which children thrive. It can be as simple as a special wave or high five, or a kiss on each cheek. Allow your child to be part of the process of creating your ritual and make it something they look forward to. 
• Leave without fanfare - Tell your child you are leaving, give them love, and then go. Don't stall. It can be hard to walk away when your child is crying your name out, but the longer the good bye process is, the harder it is on the child. 

When is it time to worry?

It only becomes a concern when you are still seeing signs of extreme separation anxiety after a period of time when your child should already be familiar with their peers and teachers, and understanding of the daily schedule and routines.

The main differences between healthy separation anxiety and a separation anxiety disorder are the intensity of your child's fears.  When their fears prevent them from normal activities, or they become anxious at just the thought of being separated, or when they complain of sickness to get out of activities with their peers and school, or when their fears become extreme enough, it could add up to a separation anxiety disorder.

At this point it is time to call your child's doctor for the best course of action.

How to Create a Drama-Free Morning

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What are mornings like in your house? Are you rushing around getting your children ready for school? There's breakfast, getting dressed ,and brushing hair and teeth. Not to mention packing lunches for the day. Then add on top of that getting each child to a different place if they go to different schools and getting yourself ready for the day, if you work outside of your home.

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Here are some tips and ideas that may work. Not everything will work for anyone, but I hope there will be something here that you may be able to use in your morning routine to take some of the stress out before you leave the house in the morning.

• Pick your battles. If it doesn't matter to you the order in which things happen in the morning, let your child decide when they will complete their morning tasks. For example, if they need to eat breakfast, get dressed, fill the pet's water bowl, and brush their teeth and it's not a big deal which one gets done first or last, let them choose. It will help them build their independence and teach them how to prioritize tasks.
• Create a visual checklist. Sometimes for children the morning routine of tasks may be overwhelming and since children respond well to structure, a checklist may work for them. Make a list of everything they need to do in morning and add images to each item (or better yet - take a photo of them doing the task and use that as a visual reminder). This then puts the responsibility on your child to work off their checklist and complete everything for the morning. When listing each task, keep it simple (IE Brush teeth, Get washed, Eat breakfast, Grab bag). Use arrows to help them move from one task to the next. 
• Add in rewards and consequences to your checklist. If your child had trouble getting through their morning routine, you may want to consider putting rewards and consequences in place. When each morning task is complete without tears, arguing, not listening, etc they get a sticker (or check mark or start - whatever you deem appropriate). Allow room for error. It's not going to work perfectly on the first day. If your child completes their tasks with the goals you have set in place, then they earn a reward. Remember, a reward doesn't have to cost money or can be low cost. Examples are movie time with mommy or daddy, a little bit of chocolate sauce in their milk instead of plain milk, a sticker, a trip to the park, letting them choose what's for dinner the next time, or a special snack in their lunch.
• Use a timer. If your child takes FOR. EVER. to complete a task (and I know you know what I mean) set a timer. A simple kitchen timer is perfect. However, when setting the timer, set it for a minute before you want them to finish and when the timer goes off they have one more minute to complete their task. This works well with young children or children who find it difficult to budget time. For older children, you can set the timer for the full amount of time allotted and teach them how to work within time constraints.  It's important to set the timer for each individual task and not for the whole morning.

Hopefully something here will work for your morning routine and it will benefit you and your family. Also, all of these tips can be utilized for the bedtime routine as well. 

How was your day? Tips to Get Your Child to Talk About Their Day

Does this conversation sound familiar?

Parent: How was your day?
Child: Fine.
Parent: What did you learn at school today?
Child: Nothing.

This type of conversation is very common with children and their parents. As parents, you want to know what happened during your child's day. What did they do, who did the play with, what happened in the past 7 hours since you dropped them off at school? The usual responses of "fine" and "nothing" can sometimes elicit feelings from parents that your child doesn't want to communicate with you, or maybe they don't want to talk about school. In most cases, that's not really what's going on. There are a million things that happen from the time you drop them off until you pick them up in the afternoon. They spend the day making decisions for themselves, working with their peers academically and socially, and basically navigating the day without you. Some children have trouble transitioning back to the parent-child dynamic and become overwhelmed with broad questions that they simply don't know how to answer.

Here are some tips I've compiled that may help keep your child from clamming up during conversations:

1. Ask open-ended questions. Instead of "What did you do today?" try "Who did you play with at recess?" or "What did you have for lunch?" Sometimes those types of questions can lead to more meaningful conversations, but it's important to not ask questions that can lead to yes or no answers.

2. Use their artwork or take home papers to start a conversation. Children love to talk about themselves and their masterpieces. Ask open-ended follow up questions.

3. Know the classroom schedule and ask questions about specific parts of their day.

4. Be aware of the themes or units they are studying and ask questions related to those topics.

5. Ask them to tell you one good thing that happened today and one bad thing.  When children have to define for themselves what is good and bad, that often lends itself to more meaningful conversations and give parents more insight into their child.

6. Does your child like to stall at bedtime? Take advantage of those extra minutes after their bedtime story. They are looking for any excuse to stay up for just a few more minutes. Use that time to create parent and child conversations.

Be patient and sensitive!

October 2013 Newsletter

College Center Montessori School Newsletter

October 2013

Dear Parents,

Where has the year gone?!  It’s October already!!!  It seems like only yesterday we were ushering in the new year – now we’re about ready to usher in 2014!

This October is a month of many happenings.  It also ushers in the holiday season!!  (Again, where has the time gone?) 

Before we go the fun stuff, there are a couple major “housekeeping” items that need to be addressed!

PLEASE Parents, bring your children to school on time.  When your children are late to school, it is disruptive and disrespectful to the rest of the class who come on time.  It interrupts their learning time, and it is not courteous or fair to the rest of the class – AND your child is missing the day’s classroom instruction.  You are also teaching your child that it’s ok to be late and that your child’s education is not important to you.  The children know when they are late and it is upsetting to their schedule when they are not on time.  Our teachers have spent much time preparing to teach as well as many years teaching children.  They want and desire to give your children the best education they can.  If your child is not here, your child’s teacher cannot teach him/her and your child will not learn to his/her full potential.

We have another fund-raiser that takes very little, if any, extra time to do.  This one is Target.  If you sign up for either of the red cards (one is a charge card, the other is a debit card) and the school of your choice – and College Center Montessori School is on their list – you save 5% at the cash register, and our school receives 1% of what you buy from Target each time you shop there.

School happenings for October include the following:

• Conference month – Please, parents, take the time to come to school, sit down with your child(ren)’s teacher and see all the things your “little people” are learning!  It’s all pretty spectacular!  There is a sign-up calendar page on each classroom door.  Conferences for Rooms 120 and 130 are held from 3:00 – 3:30.  Come see the good work your child is doing in the classroom.
• Our annual “nag” about your paperwork is happening right now – even as I’m writing this letter!  If you have paperwork outstanding, PLEASE do all of us a favor and return it ASAP!  Community Care Licensing (our licensing agent) requires these papers to be in your child’s file, and if they are not there, we can be fined.  We want our income to be used to the betterment of the school, not to the betterment of the State Department of Social Services, so please – look in the back seat, truck, under the seats – in your car, your spouse’s car, or other “safe” places to locate the required paperwork!  We do NOT want to have to send a “search and rescued” to get our paperwork!
• Picture day is October 11, 2013.  Each child will be photographed individually, and siblings can be photographed together, as well.  Fiesta Photography will be starting the photo shoot at 9:00 a.m., so please be on time.  Late comers may not be photographed, and you really do not want to miss this opportunity for good quality and inexpensive professional portraits that make really good gifts!  (And you know how grandparents are always clamoring for pictures of the absolutely most wonderful, intelligent, gifted, and beautiful grand children in the whole world!)
• October 25, is the date for our Halloween celebration this year, the children will be able to wear their costumes to school (please send clothing to change into after our party).  They will parade through the classrooms and go out to the playground where they will be given treats to take home after school.  For lunch, we will have our first Pizza Day of the school year.  You will be given a reminder and order form later.  *See the information printed below where you will find the school Halloween costume guidelines!*

October 25 is our day for costumes. 

The children will not be allowed to wear their costumes on October 31.

·       November 11 is Veteran’s Day.  There will be no school or daycare on November 11.  School will be closed.

·       Our school Thanksgiving Feast will be on Wednesday, November 27.  There will be more information concerning our feast later.

·       Thanksgiving break is November 28 and 29.  There is no school or daycare on November 28 and 29. 

·       Our annual Secret Shopping days will be in early December.  You may bring your donations any time after our Thanksgiving recess.  We also need parent volunteers to help the children with their shopping.  Please see either Nikki or Ardeth in the office if you are able/willing to help with this really fun event!  You will enjoy your time watching and helping the children as they choose treasures for their families.

·       December 23, 2013 – January 3, 2014 is our Winter Break.  Day Care will be provided depending on need and availability.  There is an additional charge for Winter Break day care.  This charge is NOT included in your monthly tuition charge.  It is an additional charge if day care is used.  More on this topic later.  

Costumes:

 The children may wear costumes to school on October 25, no costumes on Wednesday or Thursday the 30 and 31, but there are serious restrictions concerning the kinds of costumes that may be worn to school.  (You may wish to send your child with a change of clothing in case the costume is too restrictive or loose.)

ABSOLUTELY NO:

Super heroes (including Power Ranger, Ninja Turtles, Spider Man, Bat Man, Pokemon, etc.)

            Vampires

            Ghosts

            Skeletons

            Witches

            Monsters, etc.

            Horror creatures

            Anything that might depict violence in ANY way

Children who come to school wearing inappropriate costumes will be required to remove them and wear regular clothes.  This will be strictly adhered to!  If you have ANY questions, contact the office staff before selecting your child’s costume.

Examples of what may be worn:

            Occupational costumes

            Traditional Disney characters

            Historic characters

            Zoo animals

            Circus animals

            Clowns

            Ethnic costumes

            Art figures (painters, dancers, musicians)

            Story characters

            Seasonal figures

We want our students to have wholesome fun.  Fun can be achieved while avoiding the frightening, the violent, or the bizarre.

For further information and other suggestions, please refer to the following Halloween Idea page (orange paper).

 

Halloween Ideas

Make

Make a costume for your child of his/her favorite animal.  This can be very simple, using face paints or paper mache’ masks, appropriately colored clothes and then a tail tacked on the back of the pants or a set of ears glued onto a headband.

Dress

Dress your child up as his/her favorite positive fairy-tale or story-book character such as The Cat in the Hat, the Lorax, Paddington Bear, Winnie the Pooh, Madeline, etc.

Thrift

Visit thrift stores with your child to gather a collection of dress-up clothes for year-round use, so that Halloween costumes can be formed from the dress-up closet in a creative and economical way.

Borrow

Borrow from around the house to form costumes from already owned garments – kids can trick-or-treat as mom, dad, or grandma, or as a businesswoman, construction worker, nurse, depending on the closets of family members.  You may own the perfect hat, gloves, or scarf for your child’s active imagination, and not even know it!

Think

Think of humorous, imaginative, nonviolent characters like extraterrestrial creatures who’ve come to make peace with Earthlings!

Why not Superheroes?

            Many people think that pretending to be a Superhero like He-Man or the Power Rangers is okay because they are the “good guys.”  The problem is that all the currently popular Superheroes use violence as part of solving problems.  Before you let your child pretend to be a Superhero, ask yourself to what extent violence plays a part of the character.  Does the character use violence to solve problems or does he or she use peaceful, nonviolent conflict resolution?  Which type of person would you want your child to use as a role model?

Remember, Be Creative and have fun with your child!

We love to watch our children learn and play!

Books of the Month - September 2013

Preschool - Sophie's Squash by Pat Zietlow Miller

Like many families this time of year, Sophie's parents take her to the farmer's market and she chooses a squash to bring home. Instead of letting her mother cook it, Sophie decides to name it Bernice and she carries Bernice where ever she goes. As the months go by, Bernice begins to rot and Sophie starts to notice. What will Sophie do with her beloved Bernice?

Lower Elementary - The Magic Tree House Series by Mary Pope Osborne

Have you ever wanted to get your child to read more about history and science? Author Mary Pope Osborne has solved this problem with her beloved series about Jack and Annie and their Magic Tree House. Jack and Annie are siblings who one day find a tree house magically appear in their backyard. They quickly find that by entering the tree house, and saying a few magic words they are taken to a point in history and have to solve a mystery, help someone, discover something new, or many other adventures. Book #1, Dinosaurs Before Dark, is a great place to start your adventure with Jack and Annie!




***We are not affiliated with any booksellers and are not getting paid for these recommendations. These books were picked by teachers.

Off and running!

We're well into our second week of school for the 2013-2014 school year! The beginning of school is exciting for children, as well as teachers, and our students and teachers are no exception!  The building is buzzing with new friends learning the expectations and meeting new friends, while old friends are jumping up and down to see their teachers and classmates again.

As always, the staff has many new ideas to make this year even better than the last. To stay posted and aware of events happening at our school, be mindful of the flyers and information that you will find in your child's sign in/out folder.

Last night we enjoyed getting a chance to speak with parents in more detail about our plans for this year at our Back to School Night. If you missed this opportunity, please plan to attend the next parent nights we host. Parent involvement is important and by attending after school activities and meeting with your child's teacher for conferences, you are showing your child in another way how much you value the work they put in to their education.

If you have an idea for an after school activity with other parents, for our students, or both, please speak with Mrs. Kosanke or Mrs. Majka in the office.